03:08:33 pm on May 2, 2012 |
Tuesday Tales WINNER 38!
By entering, every contestant agrees to shamelessly promote and praise the winner on twitter.
For all discussions about this challenge use hash tag #TuesdayTales
I am happy to have this week’s Tuesdaytales Judgemasters take over:
Daniel SwensenFantasy writer, blogger, RPG / sci-fi enthusiast, prolific pantser, sesquipedalian smartass.Obsessed with genre movies and narrative. Not actually that surly.
“This was a tough one for me to judge – there were 3-4 really solid contenders for best story, and 3-4 more stories that are probably worthy of an honorable mention. Obviously I can’t reward that many people, and in the end, only one story hit all the right notes for me. In 100 words, Daniel Swenson has conveyed a complete story – a rare feat, even in a contest such as this. Even more impressive, he manages to fit in a lovely bit of description (“brittle as an old walnut” was the real diamond for me), appeals to our common experiences (clucking nurses), confronts a frightening part of life (death), and leaves us with a conclusion that satisfies. Beginning, middle, and end, he’s done it well.”
She sits by the window and talks to herself. Smiles at unheard jokes, lifts gnarled hands to caress an unseen face. Her voice, brittle as an old walnut, shrills out an argument over who gets to change the television channel. Her husband, ten years dead. The television long ago pawned.
The nurses cluck their tongues and whisper behind her back. Senility has finally set in. The old lady’s getting conjugal visits from beyond the grave.
She hears them talk. She doesn’t care. She smiles at the face of her love and counts the days until they are together again.
99 words / @surlymuse
Best Use of the Word “Conjugal:” Dee – @dee_768
Praise: Love it! This one was an easy pick for Honorable Mention, and very nearly took the cake. I especially enjoyed the image conveyed by “debits and credits dancing in conjugal bliss.” Mmm, yeah, all those pluses and minuses moving together…ahem. Pardon me.
Criticism: In the end, I felt that some of the “telling” in this story might have been better as “showing,” which is why it comes in second.
Best Conjugal, um, Smell: Stacey Bennet-Hoyt – @Rowanwolf66
Praise: Smell is such an enormous part of human life – and plays so strongly into, erm, conjugal matters – that I absolutely had to reward Stacey. Not only did she make note of smell, but she really brought it to life for me. The scene she painted was more real because I could smell it, and that’s all there is to it.
Criticism: This was a lovely scene, and sometimes that’s all you have room for in flash fiction. I didn’t get a real sense of story, though.
Most Moving, and Second-Best Smell: Aaron Breyer – @agbeyer
Praise: Each line of this story builds on the one before it, adding to the image and the story. Evocative description and a moving motivation really helped me to identify with the character. With more room to grow and expand, this story could really be something.
Criticism: Describing two locations instead of one means that your limited words are divided. In addition, the final lines of the story, which convey the true depth of the plot, fall prey to two weakness: telling instead of showing, and a run-on sentence.Everyone spread the word of @dee_768, @agbeyer , @Rowanwolf66 , the winner @surlymuse and @JonathonVolkmer for his awesome judgemastery!
I would also like to invite our winner @surlymuse to be a judge for next Tuesdaytales on May 8th , please let me know if your available 🙂
You can check out all the rest of the entries of Tuesdaytales week 38 HERE
OR check out the archive of all the tuesdaytales to escort you to your tuesdaytales needs HEREAdvertisements