• 02:52:05 pm on March 29, 2012 | 1
    Tags: , , , , , , , ,

    Tuesday Tales WINNER 34!


    Challenge #34

     By entering, every contestant agrees to shamelessly promote and praise the winner on twitter.

    For all discussions about this challenge use hash tag #TuesdayTales

    I am happy to have this week’s Tuesdaytales Judgemasters take over: 



    Philadelphia-area novelist, competitive dragon boater, & foodie. My work has appeared in Black Heart Magazine, The Molotov Cocktail, & Trembles Horror Mag.&Host of #5minutefiction





    Jonathon Volkmer

    Dream on, but don’t expect them all to come true.

     Judges Notes:

    I laughed like a hyena throughout Jonathon’s entire piece. The great punchline really set off the rest of the piece, and I love the names he chose for his characters. Dark comedy is always a win in my book, and I had such a bizarre visual in my head.

    TUESDAY TALE: It Was Impressive…

    “Hello! Welcome to another episode of ‘What’s Hot, Youtube?’ I’m your host, Lou Brishous, and here’s my cohost, Phil Thellingage. What’s Hot, Phil?”

    “Thanks, Lou! Today we’re talking about the latest craze: live streaming suicide. We’ve got a video for you, and a noted expert for analysis.”

    “Let’s go to the video!”

    “Boy, that is one tall building.”

    “And there she goes…”

    “Is she removing her pants?”

    “Good lord!”

    “Wow, folks, that was quite the video. Let’s turn to Doctor Slezball, leading scatological expert, for commentary. What do you make it, Doctor?”

    “First off, Lou, that was some impressive shit.”

    100 Words, and that’s no bull



    Judges Notes:

    How could I not give an honorable mention to someone who actually found a rhyme for “scatalogical”? It also provided a gross visual in a very Dr. Seuss kind of a way. Nicely done!

    Dana decided to quit
    Saying I don’t give a sh–
    Dana, you see, cared not for her job
    In fact, for a maid she was often a slob
    She gave Miss French the bird as she reached for the door
    Then she slipped on a sponge she had left on the floor
    She earned her due on that late September
    For careless Dana had not remembered
    To lock the window, and to her dismay
    It creaked and it groaned before it gave way
    As she fell out the window, Dana waxed scatological
    Then covered the street in a mess spatological

     Everyone spread the word of  the winner @JonathonVolkmer ,  honorable mention @wakefieldmahon and  @nicolewolverton for the awesome judgemastery!

    I would also like to invite our winner @JonathonVolkmer to be a judge for next Tuesdaytales on April 3rd, please let me know if your available 🙂


    You can check out all the rest of the entries of Tuesdaytales week 34 HERE

    OR check out the archive of all the tuesdaytales to escort you to your tuesdaytales needs HERE



  • JonathonVolkmer 3:04 pm on March 29, 2012 | # | Reply

    Much thanks to our judgemaster for the word and to our host for the picture. Given those two things, this was literally the first thing that popped into my head. I hope that doesn’t give away too much about what goes on in there.

    Also, congrats to @WakefieldMcMahon! You totally cracked me up!

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