• 02:30:58 pm on July 12, 2011 | 11
    Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

    Flash Fiction

    Deadly Seven

    This is the second to last of the 7 sins, 7days, 7 stories challenge and my eyes burn just thinking about it.

    Be sure to check out the rest of the participants in the 7 deadly sins flash fiction blog challenge by clicking the link.


    Her eyes are like deep blue bays on New Year’s night, each splashed with golden fireworks. Her hair shines like silk freshly unraveled by delicate hands, long, fine, and waiting to be discovered. I bought the best utensil available, ones like the professionals use. Silver, strong, and sharp. I brush her hair away and grasp the strands firmly in my hand as the scissors slice through the fibers. She stirs in her sleep and with the last of my time I drop bleach behind her lids. No one should look at those golden fireworks again; unless they are mine.

    A story just isn’t complete with out your age ol’ envious stalker.

    Just the idea of having bleach in my eyes is unpleasant and makes them water… Not to mention my vanity just can not handle the idea of losing my lushous locks.

    Speaking of Vanity our last sin is Pride.

    Sneak peak: ““You think you did this on your own, my boy?” The voice echoes in his mind.”




  • Lissa 8:06 pm on July 12, 2011 | # | Reply

    Oh, this is kind of terrifying. A beautiful flash fiction for envy but still, kind of terrifying.

  • glitterlady 8:18 pm on July 12, 2011 | # | Reply

    I have a tendency to be a bit dark at times… I look forward to a 7 virtues challenge because that will be much more difficult for me to come up with ideas for.

  • Rosie Lane 8:56 pm on July 12, 2011 | # | Reply

    I’m shuddering at the bleach. Wow, that’s past envy and into scary. Good one.

  • Antimony 9:31 pm on July 12, 2011 | # | Reply

    My eyes are watering, and I’m terrified of something happening to my hair now!

    I think a 7 Virtues challenge may just be on the books for definite now, I want to see what you can do with it!

    A x

    • David A Ludwig 5:50 am on July 13, 2011 | # | Reply

      Definitely sign me up for a 7 Virtues challenge. I don’t know the Virtues as well and need to remedy that anyway, so challenge or no challenge I write them next.

  • Halli Gomez 1:59 am on July 13, 2011 | # | Reply

    That was wonderfully dark! I felt myself really moving, step by step. Great imagery!

  • David A Ludwig 5:49 am on July 13, 2011 | # | Reply

    Ack! My eyes didn’t start watering until I got through the other comments! That’s just nasty and mean! I got over my hair a few weeks ago, but bleach in the eyes… That’s just terrible! And you did an amazing job of describing how beautiful the eyes had been too! I loved that description of blue bays “splashed with golden fireworks”. They sound absolutely gorgeous, and suggest a sparkling personality behind them to have such fire. Oh, hair grows back but the bleach is still making me cry.

  • Heather 1:55 pm on July 13, 2011 | # | Reply

    Creepy stalker! Oh. That is horrible. Horribly awesome.

    Is there seven virtues? Now I will have to look that up.

    • glitterlady 2:28 pm on July 13, 2011 | # | Reply

      Yup, there will most definately be a 7 virtues challenge but probably next month.

      And yes, the bleach was extreem but her eyes were too pretty to exist in the world untarnished, well at least to the stalker that is.

      Glad you all liked my creepy rendition of Envy.

  • Bryce Daniels 11:38 pm on July 13, 2011 | # | Reply

    Oh, wow. This started out with such beautiful imagery, and you yanked it away with the pain of the bleach.

    Methinks you have a streak of thriller writer in there. VERY WELL DONE.

  • Deadly Seven Challenge « glitter word 9:04 pm on October 18, 2011 | # | Reply

    […] Lust – Gluttony – Greed– Sloth– Wrath– Envy– Pride– […]

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